Gasteroids

That’s it, I’ve learned my lesson. We have 2 dogs, Eliza and Mulder, the latter of which suffers from a having a sensitive stomach. As a result, we’ve had him on a special diet for several years now.

Given that they occasionally go after each other’s meals, it was determined that Eliza would eat the same food. So, in an effort to economize, I decided to switch them from NATURAL CHOICE® Chicken, Rice & Oatmeal Adult Dog Food to IAMS® Lamb Meal & Rice Formula Dog Food.

BIG mistake.

Lounging around our living room with these 2 has become akin to being backstage at a marathon three-bean-chili eating contest. The scents, the sounds…it’s not coming up roses. Unless, of course, the roses have just recently been fertilized in the most natural way conceivable.

What the heck do the IAMS® people put into this dry kibble, anyhow? Rotted corpse? Burned hair? A square of Vieux Boulogne cheese? Cabbage smothered in curry spice?

I mean, there you are, just sitting on the couch, watching television…just minding your own business…when “BAM!!” it hits you. Your olfactory receptors are assaulted by an odor so pungent, so repulsive, so putrid...you wonder what horrific act you committed in your sordid past that would result in such vile punishment.

And, for the record, I’m not exaggerating. The dogs literally change the color of the carpet every time they commit these heinous air assaults. If you need proof, I’ll gladly provide pictures. They’re only $10 apiece and I accept PayPal.